Saturday, October 24, 2009

oceans

my frustrations are mire, swallowing my feet
i kick and claw 
trying to swim
to break surface
but water swells 
gurgling at my feeble efforts
i am drowning
 fighting demons too powerful for me to have created

my arms flay in water with no rhythm
no hope of being useful
i beat and strike
trying to climb
to move from where i am
but stream becomes angry ocean
relishing my loss
its victory
i am drowning
too tired to remember how i fell out of the boat

i see people around me
screaming out, hoping they will hear
i see blank stares, looking right through me
i do not exist
they have their own problems
trapped in their own oceans

sinking now
no longer have want to fight
i no longer care
so easy to simply stop
wouldn't have to fight anymore
wouldn't have to be strong anymore

trying to find help for so long
trying to breathe for so long
trying to rest for so long

nothing darker than a church on saturday night
nothing lonelier than a classroom with only chairs and time
nothing harder than fighting for a forgotten cause