oceans

my frustrations are mire, swallowing my feet

i kick and claw 

trying to swim

to break surface

but water swells 

gurgling at my feeble efforts

i am drowning

 fighting demons too powerful for me to have created

my arms flay in water with no rhythm

no hope of being useful

i beat and strike

trying to climb

to move from where i am

but stream becomes angry ocean

relishing my loss

its victory

i am drowning

too tired to remember how i fell out of the boat

i see people around me

screaming out, hoping they will hear

i see blank stares, looking right through me

i do not exist

they have their own problems

trapped in their own oceans

sinking now

no longer have want to fight

i no longer care

so easy to simply stop

wouldn't have to fight anymore

wouldn't have to be strong anymore

trying to find help for so long

trying to breathe for so long

trying to rest for so long

nothing darker than a church on saturday night

nothing lonelier than a classroom with only chairs and time

nothing harder than fighting for a forgotten cause