nothing like

I’m scared to write

Scared of what may come out
Insipid white girl, middle class problems
Or worse

nothing


for so long, I’ve wanted to be so dark and scarred
and now… I am
and I have no idea what to do about it
as I find it’s not what I wanted at all


nothing like

So.
Here I am.


Being stupid and worried
All vapid and plastic and redundant
while I have a good job and a decent life
a dog and a hope
a house with pretty floors


and while I sit, safe in my blasé gray cube
alone and unencumbered


I find that life is…


nothing like I thought

but then...

neither am I.