Dear Jordan,
I hope you had a great visit with your grandmother. I’ve missed spending time with you.
I realized we haven’t really talked about my family, which is funny since they take up as much of my time as your family takes of yours.
I have a younger brother, who came to visit this weekend. He’s like a twinkle light. An aggravating, funny, 6’, buzz-cut twinkle light. He got the cute button nose and Mom’s widow’s peak.
He lives in a small apartment on the opposite side of town. And works as a janitor on a nail place in one of the gayborhood streets. He’s so proud of that, it just sort of pours of him when he talks about it.
He’s challenged. And beautiful. He’s kind of becoming too cool to be my brother.
I realized as I tell you about him, I wouldn’t introduce y’all right now.
See, right now, you’d see his challenges. He’d be this big, freckled mass of different. You might be nice. Maybe. And it’d hurt for you to not love him like I do.
If it helps, all I saw of him for so long was how not normal he was. I wanted him to be smart and cool and popular. There was so much to deal with – the anger, different meds, meetings and more meetings. Paperwork. It was hard and constant.
And it distracted from the fact that although my brother hurt, he was amazing.
A friend of mine said recently, none of us get a pass on being decent human beings. Not now, not ever. We have to learn to be gentle with ourselves, or we can’t be gentle with others. And the harder it is to be gentle, the more it matters we do.
I like that, even though it's hard to remember and harder to do.
So, Miss Jordan, I'll start with you.
I love you. And I am so, so glad you are in my life.
Because I see your life as a rough start to an impossibly grand future, full of genteel souls and unexpected twinkle lights.
Although the journey won't be easy or pretty always, I'm really glad I get to walk some of it with you.
I’ll call your mom about seeing you next week.
Amber
I hope you had a great visit with your grandmother. I’ve missed spending time with you.
I realized we haven’t really talked about my family, which is funny since they take up as much of my time as your family takes of yours.
I have a younger brother, who came to visit this weekend. He’s like a twinkle light. An aggravating, funny, 6’, buzz-cut twinkle light. He got the cute button nose and Mom’s widow’s peak.
He lives in a small apartment on the opposite side of town. And works as a janitor on a nail place in one of the gayborhood streets. He’s so proud of that, it just sort of pours of him when he talks about it.
He’s challenged. And beautiful. He’s kind of becoming too cool to be my brother.
I realized as I tell you about him, I wouldn’t introduce y’all right now.
See, right now, you’d see his challenges. He’d be this big, freckled mass of different. You might be nice. Maybe. And it’d hurt for you to not love him like I do.
If it helps, all I saw of him for so long was how not normal he was. I wanted him to be smart and cool and popular. There was so much to deal with – the anger, different meds, meetings and more meetings. Paperwork. It was hard and constant.
And it distracted from the fact that although my brother hurt, he was amazing.
A friend of mine said recently, none of us get a pass on being decent human beings. Not now, not ever. We have to learn to be gentle with ourselves, or we can’t be gentle with others. And the harder it is to be gentle, the more it matters we do.
I like that, even though it's hard to remember and harder to do.
So, Miss Jordan, I'll start with you.
I love you. And I am so, so glad you are in my life.
Because I see your life as a rough start to an impossibly grand future, full of genteel souls and unexpected twinkle lights.
Although the journey won't be easy or pretty always, I'm really glad I get to walk some of it with you.
I’ll call your mom about seeing you next week.
Amber
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