bunnies, tombs, and intentional grace

It's finally Easter. Time for pretty clothes, chocolate bunnies and giving up whatever we gave up for Lent.

I have a confession: I rarely go to church on Easter. I tend to make it all the other times of the year, and with all the people that show up just at Christmas and Easter (two-timers), it's just not worth the hassle of showing up early, parking far, dealing with all the cars leaving at the same time, yadda, yadda.

So, yeah, I don't go.

I've covered it up with pretty reasons for the past few years. My mom, for a while, opened our house for whoever wanted to pop by. She made gobs of food, and we never really knew who may pop by, who they may bring. I called it our community Easter, and because I was such a good daughter, and my mom needed help, I couldn't possibly make service, too. Darn it.

After that, because so many of my Christian friends didn't go to church on Easter, too, it was easy to just not go. We'd find other ways to spend the day - some stayed home to make food for visiting family, others would go see a movie.

I told myself it didn't matter, that God understood. After all, Jesus loved Jacob and he was a BRAT, so He'd totally understand. I loved Jesus on Easter, I just loved Him in a different place.

But that's not the truth, and one thing I do know Christ longs for and appreciates is truth; especially He is Truth.

So, here's the truth.

My family didn't celebrate holidays when I was a kid, so I didn't (literally) know what I was missing. I thought you went to church because that's what you do when it's Sunday. I went to school because it was Monday, and cleaned my room because it was dirty. Church was a function; Easter and Christmas, opportunities to attract new souls to the church.

So, my Easter had no pastel colors or chocolate bunnies. And not being a super girly girl, anyway, I really didn't understand why that was part of the celebration. It was like I was a Native Alaskan trying to feel a spiritual connection to aloe vera because someone said it makes sunburns hurt less.

But... I really do try to love Jesus, even when I don't understand. And here's what I do know about Easter.

Today's Easter. Today's the day that Christ rose from a horrific death, three long days in a fresh tomb. Today's the day the eternal debt of dark was paid.

Today is the reason for Good Friday; the reason Christ even came to Earth in the first place.

Today remembers that Christ died, Christ rose again, Christ will return. Today's not a day of hollow bunnies, and it's supposed to be more than just a reason to go shopping and make a ham.

Easter is the day for hard things, of victory, and of grace so big death can't contain it.

For grace; for a God Who loves so lushly He sent His son when other gods sent prophets or mere mortals; for the One I love not nearly well enough; for all these reasons, I can set aside my fear and pride.

I'll drive across town to be surrounded by people I don't know when I'd rather curl into a ball in my bed. I'll consider others' intentions before judging their actions. I'll accept that because of Easter my dark, hollow soul finds its home, and something eternally more pure to fill it.

The tomb is empty. I am filled. Happy Easter.